I need to keep this blog alive , that's the reason why I'm finally blogging right now .Routine everyday is pretty much the same but there's something that's distracting me . Which is my weight, I swear my appetite was growing rapidly and I could see that fat ass me in the mirror. Hopefully I'll be able to adjust back. Maybe after my finals ? Anyways this week is gonna be a burnt out week , practically no free time at all thanks to my awesome final's exam that is starting approximately in 5odd days ! Piles of things to study for finals, but I don't even know where to start . In addition , I would like to thanks Amanda and Kai suen for being my listener these few days , you both do ease my pain away , advice me and take on those negative feelings of mine and redirect them into something more positive when I feel that life has no purpose nowadays. In the past few days I've been feeling so much pain that I cant ever see myself getting better . So I choose to buried them in my heart eventhough this led to so much resentment. I feel like the '' don’t ask don’t tell policy '' have been implemented somehow . Perhaps we have to get a little messed up before we can step up and start with a new beginning & maybe going through all these pain , fear and obstacles , keeps us moving forward in this harsh world.